The advice and examples from this psychologist will help many parents feel empowered and understand the importance of not forgetting their own lives. After all, children with special needs are not a life sentence but a story that can unfold differently. How to help them was shared by Nadiya Viktorivna Zinchenko, a special psychologist from the "Dobrobut" medical network.
The Impact of Gadgets
The biggest challenge psychologists face is parents' lack of awareness about early child development. For example, what a child should be able to do at 6 months, what developmental milestones exist at 1.5 years or 3 years old. This information is readily available, but today, parents are often quite detached from raising their children. Parents do not understand how to develop their child or how to interact with them. Many mothers and fathers make the big mistake of choosing gadgets as a convenient toy for their child. I often hear during consultations: "Our child has had a tablet since six months old." As a specialist, I offer this example: In Poland, it is legally prohibited for parents to use a tablet or phone in the presence of a child until the child is 4 years old.
Most often, parents' inability or unwillingness to engage with their child leads to symptoms that closely resemble autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and developmental delays. For example, when a child doesn't speak for a long time, doesn't ask for help, uses screaming as a strategy to get attention, or doesn't visually respond to new toys. If the child is overly focused on the tablet, they don't see their parents' emotions, don't play with their parents or peers.
Personal Example
I have observed the life of children with special needs since childhood because my cousin was diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP). I saw all the challenges she and her parents faced. This probably influenced my conscious decision to choose my profession.
My first degree is in medicine. I have 20 years of experience strictly in the medical field. This included working in a surgical department and in intensive care. As a mother of three children, I decided I wanted to better understand children's psychology and what is significant for a child. As a result, I enrolled at the M.P. Drahomanov University in the Faculty of Special Medical Psychology.
What Do Parents of Special Needs Children Go Through?
The most important thing for parents is to accept that their child has developmental differences, that their story will unfold differently.
A child with special needs gets sick more often than other children. But a regular pediatrician may not be prepared to work with them, which can lead to unpleasant consequences. In the "Dobrobut" medical network, at the "Center for Special Child Development," all specialized doctors already have experience working with such children. The center’s team includes a psychologist, pediatrician, ophthalmologist, orthopedist, pediatric cardiologist, allergist, and other specialists. They know how to communicate with these children to ensure the most comfortable experience during the doctor’s examination.
It is crucial how resilient parents are to the fact that their child may not be accepted by society. They often face a choice: to be good for others or to remain the support system for their child.
The key advice: remember that ASD, CP, Down syndrome, and ADHD are not diseases but characteristics and needs of a child whose nervous system functions differently. And it's important not to cross the line where you start to feel sorry for your child and live only for them.
First, parents need to remember that the goal is to teach the child to take care of themselves.
Second, parents need to pay attention to their own feelings and emotions. That’s why it’s essential to work with specialists and seek help from a psychologist. I often hear: "We’ll manage on our own." However, they can’t do it alone. Irritation, fatigue, and frustration are natural processes because we are all human first. And the reactions that arise when interacting with a special needs child always require correction or understanding. Parents themselves need to be full of inner resources and have support. This is why they need a reliable specialist who can be with them in this “story.”
What Awaits Special Needs Children in the Future?
Society is constantly evolving. The future of a child with special needs depends on the people around them. There are many examples of children who became successful and well-known individuals. As for my personal example, today my cousin with CP is 35 years old, she gave birth to a daughter, has a higher education, and works as a translator. So, there is certainly a future for special needs children. It all depends on the story that unfolds, the environment they are in, and the potential of that environment.
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